Sunday, September 29, 2013

In memory of James Sing

parasailing in Bali
I was shocked to hear the news that my friend James Sing passed away a few weeks ago on September 12. 

His "Celebration of Life" was held in San Francisco today, and although I was not able to attend, I wanted to honor him in my way.

James was my best friend for many years, many years ago, in the late 1990s. We met in 1996 while both studying at the Mandarin Training Center in Taipei, Taiwan. We lived nearby, and soon were hanging out all the time. We had an intense, intimate friendship, and although it was never romantic, sometimes we fought like a couple might. But he was the type of friend I could call at any hour of the night, and knew that he wouldn't mind--and vice versa. When I was sad, he'd bend over backwards to make me laugh. I can still hear his laugh echo in my head today. I have so many wonderful memories of our time together in Taiwan--late nights eating xi fan near his apartment, his singing "Yi Qian Ge Xiang Xin de Li You" at Karaoke, dancing at various night clubs, eating guo tie after class, studying at Jamaica Cafe or the student lounge, riding around on his motorcycle or my scooter. During our time there, we traveled together to Bali, Indonesia, and to Hong Kong and Canton. We stayed close after we both returned to the States, and we overlapped living in NYC for a little while, but he moved back to CA a year or so after I arrived there from Boston.

He was probably the smartest person I knew, and because of that, I still remember my delight at schooling him in the difference between nauseous and nauseated. (Of course, correcting him while he was feeling nauseated was probably not the ideal time.) 

Most of all, James valued loyalty--he was the truest, most loyal friend.

We'd drifted in recent years, as friends often do, and in the last few years our interactions were limited to random g-chats about skateboarding, and mice for his lizard Opus; and some random Facebook comments about Lin-sanity. His last comment was just a few days before his death.

This is selfish of me, but I take some small comfort knowing that, in the days before his death, I at least crossed his mind in a small way, even if it was for killing a fly. And I hope that he knew that, no matter how we drifted, he was often in my thoughts.

My heart goes out to his family and friends. His loss leaves a huge hole, but I hope they can take some small comfort with how loved James was, and how influential he was to so many people. 

Please do take a look at this fund that has been created in James's honor, and if you're able, please make a contribution:


Wombott said...

very touching. he was just as lucky to have had you as a friend in his life.

yamster said...

What a wonderful tribute, Alvina. Thank you for letting me to get to know him a little through you.