Coincidences and triggers

On my flight back to NYC from Dallas, I decide to watch the movie Late Night, that Mindy Kaling/Emma Thompson movie. I find it entertaining enough, and it even moves me to tears a few times. And then, towards the end of the movie, Emma Thompson’s character goes to Mindy Kaling’s new apartment (supposedly out in Coney Island), and ends up climbing the stairs to her apartment. As she climbs the stairs, I think—uh, those stairs looks familiar. Those look like the stairs in the apartment Greg and I lived in Crown Heights for three years. They looked like the stairs in the apartment we were living in when he died.

But, no. So many stairwells in NYC apartments looks similar, right? It can’t be.

But, then she’s up the stairs and all of a sudden she’s knocking on apartment 6C. We lived in 6C. It’s the exact apartment Greg and I lived in. 

THAT'S MY DOOR.

And then they’re in the apartment, and I’d recognize that crown molding and wall trim anywhere. I’d recognize that floor anywhere. It’s the same layout. It's our apartment.

And then of course I wonder, when did they film this? Did they film this right after I moved out? Did they know they were filming the movie in the apartment where someone lay dying for three years?

(I looked it up, and they filmed it last year, in 2018. I moved out in Fall 2016. So, not right after.)

And then I had to laugh a little, because we all talk about trigger warnings, and this movie should have had one just for me: "Alvina Ling, please be advised that this movie will feature the apartment that you and your husband were living in together when he died." But really, now that it’s been almost four years since Greg died, I’m used to it. I mean, so many things remind me of Greg, but I don’t get emotional. I can recount story after story about him without feeling sad (usually). I live a block away from that apartment, on the exact same street, and I walk by that apartment multiple times a week and although I do always take note, I'm fine. But seeing the inside of that specific apartment so unexpectedly was...well, startling.

But, I do love coincidences, though. I mean, really--what are the chances? So, I felt compelled to share. 

300 and other bite-sized movie reviews

Thanks everyone for your well-wishes in comments and emails, etc. I'm feeling better, although in the last two days, as I've decided to just go about my life as normal, and I've probably regressed a bit. But oh well, I can deal with blowing my nose and an occasional cough.

Last night I saw the movie 300. My friends have anticipated seeing it for a long time, although I only became familiar with it a few weeks ago. I had enjoyed Sin City, although the violence left me nauseated, so I was a little worried by the NY Times review stating, "300 is about as violent as Apocalypto and twice as stupid." And then right before watching the movie I read the People Magazine review that started out with, "Just before raping a woman, the villain of this piece sneeringly tells her, 'This will not be over quickly and you will not enjoy it.' Ditto for 300." Oh, so not only is the movie violent and bad, but there's going to be a long, painful rape scene. Goody.

But when it comes to my movie going habits, I'm a bit of a sucker for "events" and I tend to also tend to just agree to see movies that my friends want to see (like Snakes on a Plane), unless I've read enough reviews and heard enough about a movie to know that I wouldn't like it. With 300, I read some positive reviews as well, and I figured I'd at least find it beautiful to look at, and I set my expectations as to the violence and acting/storyline appropriately.

I wasn't disappointed by the movie. In fact, I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. (I think I've mentioned this before, and it's sad, but I'm convinced that it's all about expectations. I don't want to have low expectations of the movies I see, but it definitely allows me to enjoy the movies more. For example, I didn't think Little Miss Sunshine was all that great, whereas all of my friends loved it and saw it multiple times.) I would also like to point out that there is no rape scene in 300, and that the scene that the review is referring to is consentual sex, although maybe it would fall under the sexual harassment umbrella, but regardless, thankfully it is not shown at all on camera.

The movie is gorgeous to look at. Grand, sepia-toned landscapes. Incredible CGI creatures. Lovely, half-naked warrior men with strong legs and killer abs. Thousands of arrows darkening the sky. It wasn't too violent for me, because the way the violence was done was also beautiful, a "ballet of death" as it's been described. So much to look at, so much to take in. Great battles scenes. The dialogue is horrible, though, and there were so many scenes/things that my friends and I made fun of after the fact. One of my favorites was an exchange between the king and one of his distraught captains. It went something like:

King: My heart is pained for your loss.
Captain: Your heart? Heart? I HAVE FILLED MY HEART WITH THE BLACKEST HATE!!!!
King: (nods) Good.

hahahaha. Oh, boy.

So in summary, I can't say it was a good movie, but I enjoyed the experience.

*****

Other bite-sized reviews of a few I've seen in the past four months or so (both on video or in the theater):

United 93: heartbreaking and educational. You know how it ends, but as you watch you still hope that somehow it ends differently. You'll cry during the whole last third of the movie.

The Departed: compelling. My heart was pounding and I had a knot in my gut during the whole last 30 minutes. Overall very well-acted, especially Leonardo DiCaprio.

Pan's Labyrinth: breathtaking, imaginative, raw, the best movie I saw last year.

Dreamgirls: glorious to look at, powerful music, incredible performances by Jennifer Hudson and Eddie Murphy

The Holiday: great chick-flick, funny, wished the two main characters had healed on their own, without having a new love interest in their lives, but then I guess it wouldn't have been a romantic comedy. Totally unrealistic, but it was great for what it was.

Prairie Home Companion: boring with a few moments of brilliance, hated the whole angel storyline. Was disappointed because I love the radio show.

Children of Men: didn't meet my expectations, felt that too much was explained, but thought it was an interesting and thought-provoking concept and a great-looking movie. And I heart Clive Owen.

Roll Bounce: exuberant, fun, loved it!

Music and Lyrics: Another perfect chick-flick/romantic comedy, extremely fun and enjoyable, I love both Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore, hilarious. Even heard the men in the theater laugh out loud heartily.

Snakes! On a plane! and a Lady! In the water!

Yes, I fell for the internet hype and saw Snakes on a Plane yesterday, and dammit, I liked it! Granted, I had low expectations, but I found it entertaining, scary, hilarious, icky, heart-pounding, eyes hiding behind fingers, good. And yeah, some of the acting was bad, but most of it was decent (Juliana Margulies was in this movie, how weird is that?), and it's great for the kind of movie it was. I've realized that it's all about expectations. This happens sometimes while reading manuscripts--after a while of not reading anything I like, I start expecting the worst, and then something comes along that doesn't suck and I enjoy it and then have to remember to compare it with good writing. But no, really, I enjoyed Snakes on a Plane. But yes, I did have very low expectations.

Speaking of low expectations and movies, a few weeks ago I also saw Lady in the Water and liked it. Now, lest you think I just have bad taste in movies...well, that may be the case, but I found the movie to be funny, heart-warming, and overall, unique. One thing you can say about this movie is that it's not like any other movies you've seen, and in a time when so little is truly original, I found that refreshing. I also thought it was a wonderful children's movie--not young children, but I thought it was probably made for that bright-eyed twelve-year old, rather than the jaded, pessimistic adult. And since I think I have more in common with the naive, optimistic kid, I liked it.

Any movie recommendations? I've been wanting to see An Inconvenient Truth and Little Miss Sunshine. If you seen these, let me know how you liked them...although maybe you shouldn't praise them too much, because then I'll be disappointed.

Trudging on.

I did the full park loop the morning of the Fourth. I didn't wake up as early as I would have liked, because I had gone out on the lower east side to hang out on my friend's rooftop and drink beer. (Also saw Devil Wears Prada that night--liked it! It was exactly what I wanted/expected.)

I wasn't going to go out that night, because I knew I wanted to run in the morning, but I also don't want to start resenting my running. After talking to some people who have trained and run the marathon, some commented that they never want to run it again because it took over their lives. I don't want this to take over my life. I don't want to regret or resent entering. Then again, I also don't want to die when I actually run it. Everything is about balance.

I left my apartment around 9:30 am. It was 79 degrees out when I woke up half an hour earlier, and 81 degrees and rising when I left. But it didn't feel as hot as Saturday--it was overcast and pretty breezy. But I still felt like I was wading through water, sluggish, slow. But as I ran slowly around the Park, I realized that it's so much more rewarding if it's hard. That's obvious, I guess, but when I'm running after not enough sleep, 60% humidity, rising thermometer, I feel that I'm accomplishing something more. Like acquiring a book when the negotiations were a struggle, finding new love and hope after your heart was broken, writing that editorial letter when you didn't know where to start, having fun at a party you didn't want to go to, making it work in a brand-new city or brand-new job. One of the most beautiful moments of my life is getting on the ferry to Cosa Mui in Thailand about 9 years ago after a grueling 10-hour, crowded, uncomfortable bus ride from Bangkok. After waiting, exhausted, in the ferry station for about an hour, we finally got on the ferry to the island and suddenly everything was transformed. The water was impossibly blue, the sky equally so with perfect white fluffy clouds. We could see schools of glittering silver fish skim the surface of the water, and life was good.

My brother and his wife are celebrating their five-year anniversary this weekend in Las Vegas (101 degrees and counting!). They've had some challenging moments in their marriage, especially in this last year, but they've said that will make this celebration that much sweeter. I'm looking forward to being there to share it with them.

Wordplay

I saw the movie Wordplay last night--it had been recommended by several friends, and it seemed like my kind of film: Wordfreak meets Spellbound, with Jon Stewart and Bill Clinton thrown in--how can you go wrong? Despite the fact that for some reason the volume in the movie theater was uncomfortably loud (I watched half of the movie with my fingers in my ears--am I just getting old?), I found it utterly delightful and inspiring, even touching (one woman talked about losing her husband to a heart attack right after the annual crossword tournament. So sad. ) I don't do crossword puzzles myself, but I found myself involuntarily answering some of the clues in the movie. Maybe I'll check out Monday's NYTimes crossword puzzle. Oh, one thing that bothered me about the movie is that parts of it felt almost like an ad for the New York Times--I had to wonder if they helped fund the movie or something.

And just to give a quick running update: I was able to go to bed early last night and wake up this morning to run before coming into work at the library where I am now. I think I need to start actually scheduling in my training--I hadn't run since my symbolic 26 laps over a week ago. I ran past my coworker Sarah in the Park--she's also training for the marathon.

I got a late start so didn't do the full 6 mile loop as planned, instead cutting out the bottom loop and running a little over 5 miles. It was only 75 degrees out at 9:30, but it felt hotter. I guess I'll have to start running earlier to beat the heat.

Happy Fourth and long weekend, everyone!